Being Scared

This is to all new moms out there. I don't know if everyone has gone through this but the first 6-7 months that I had my child...I was fear stricken. Not about being a new mom, that came natural. But I became obsessed with the news, most particular anything political. And I turned into this frantic mess and was bitter about everything any politician said or did. After a while I realized what the stress of it was doing to me and I took a back seat and eliminated quite a few stresses from my life. And when I did, I realized that it doesn't matter which side of the fence you are on, right wing, left wing. I realized that the institution of government has not, in a long time, valued life and that I do know the value of life because I now had the daunting task of being responsible for a life aside from my own.
At that point I started looking at my daughter and took a good hard look at my own health. It's no secret that since the delivery not only had I not lost any baby weight but gained a fair amount. I looked at her and then looked at myself. Somewhere in my life I stopped taking care of myself, I didn't love myself enough to pay attention to what I was putting into body. And it's the same deal with anyone in someones family that smokes. Everyone gets mad at this person eventually because they can see what this addiction is doing to this person's health and that the addict doesn't love themselves or their family enough to stop. That is the harsh truth and no matter what you say you can't argue that fact. Food...I love you...I mean that I REALLY love you. But I love my daughter more, and I can't let heart disease or diabetes keep me from watching her grow older and being there for her. So, and yes I've said this to myself plenty of times before but now I need to do this. The diet needs to happen, I need to make the change before something medically happens to me that makes it even harder to lose weight. This blog is going to keep me honest. I am currently 28 years old (wow that tastes bitter writing that) and I am 5'3 and 267 pounds. And to be brutally honest I have been on again and off again when it comes to medication for my thyroid which is directly related to weight gain. Because I'm an idiot that doesn't love myself enough to remember to take it. Lets see where I am a month from now.
I hope this inspires someone to make a positive change in their lives.

~Love you guys, stay awesome.

How to Become Immortal!

That's right everyone. How to stay longer in this world than you would have ever thought possible is now right at your fingertips. Okay, that was a lie. No one is immortal and to the best of my knowledge there is not a way one can't die yet. But there is a way for your memory to be carried for a few generations. The best way for your memory to be passed on is through the kindnesses you share and express in your lifetime. It's the example that you set for yourself and those around you. After a while these kindnesses will inspire others to do the same in their lives. This is the part of you that will stay even after you are gone. This in a way brings me comfort knowing that something I may have said or done will have inspired someone to do the same.

I'm not saying there aren't times where I have been a jerk...because there have been plenty. I can guarantee that all of those times the person on the receiving end more than deserved it. Much changes you when you have kids. And some people make this change even without kids because they are just wired this way. But you get to a point in your life where you sit down without all the noise and think about your life and where it's heading and you realize that you want it to mean something. You want to be remembered, not for the material possessions, but for the person you were, what you stood for, whether you put good into the world or took good from it. So ask yourself when a tough choice comes your way. "When I look back on this moment what will I want to see?" Because you'll either close your eyes at night knowing you did the right thing. Or you'll lay awake cringing at the memory.

Love you guys, stay awesome!